its finally seasonably appropriate to shove this up my ass
I saw the top half of this image and thought, “This is going to be porn.” Then I saw the rest of it and thought, “Oh wow, good. It’s not—” then I read the comment.
“Tik Tok” by Ke$ha and “Come Together” by The Beatles mashup
I… I don’t know how I feel about this.
Reading the song title:
While listening to the song:
After listening to the song:
the gifs are so accurate.
Source: danerjuice / doctordude
Click & Drag Date Night
1. You go out to Denny’s with…
2. You order…
I go out to Denny’s with a professional mime and order chicken strips and fries. Suddenly, the president calls. It’s time to save the nation. Again. No, this is Patrick. *hangs up, continues to eat at Denny’s, the professional mime looks slightly distressed but doesn’t say anything so I continue to continue to eat at Denny’s*
… frothing vagina…
"The Legend of Zelda: Celestial Tide" Update (item storage)
So it seems like each Link has an insane amount of items (equipment, tools, and optional items) that he carries with him. In an attempt for this to make sense, I’ve tried to devise a few pouches the Hero of Space carries that are “bigger on the inside,” so to speak. Some of these bags contain larger bags. The logic with that is that each bag, pouch, box, or case can only store a specific type of item (e.g. shields, tools, clothes, etc.)
This game’ll have a theme of space and void, so I wanted to give the feeling that this incarnation of the spirit of the hero has a limited amount of space to hold items that eventually expands as he develops into a true hero.
What follows is a few of the possible bags, what they hold, and their capacities. Next to each of the bullets are what type of item(s) the bag can carry.
Coin Purse (150 rupees)
Coin Pouch (300 rupees)
Lite Safe (600 rupees)
Heavy Safe (1200 rupees)
- Clothes and Bags
Link’s Pouch (1 tunic, Coin Purse, dungeon kit)
Hero’s Bag (3 tunics, 4 other bags or cases, dungeon kit)
Hylian Case (2 shields)
Sheikah Case (3 shields)
Toolbox (4 tools)
Carrying Case (6 tools)
Hero’s Pouch (8 tools)
- Spirits’ Blessings**
Mask Box (3 masks)
Mask Case (5 masks)
Pluto’s Lament (8 masks)
The dungeon kit holds what Link picks up and uses in dungeons and temples, like keys and stuff. I’ll flesh out what exactly these entail but they probably aren’t much different than map, keys, big key, compass. Given the astronomy theme, though, the dungeon kit might include other tools that help graph maps or other things (e.g. telescope, sextant, etc).
* - These will get their own posts.
** - These will also get their own posts, but I just want to mention that they would upgrade Link’s tools and are given after Link completes their temples. They’re masks that transport him to an optional challenge (think of the Silent Realm) that leads to tool upgrades. All the masks, including the thing(s) to store them, are optional except Pluto’s Mask and Pluto’s Lament.
"The Legend of Zelda: Celestial Tide" Update (shields)
So far, I’ve talked about Link’s armor, a possible background for the game, a general update, and a possible (general) plot. Now, I’m going to talk about some of the Hero of Space’s (possible) shields. These are not finished or even designed properly yet. I took inspiration from Skyward Sword and Ocarina of Time for most of this.
There are two optional, special shields (listed at the end).
In a post I’ll post after this one (it’s in my drafts), I’ve described how the Hero of Space will hold his items (including his shields). Essentially, the case for his shields is bigger on the inside (but they are finite). He can hold three shields in a case, but—if he’s wielding one—there are monsters who can steal his shields.
I’ll make a post explaining the element enemies later. For now, just check out ZeldaWiki’s enemy types page(s). All the “(+1)” or “(+3)” stuff is just a sorting method I’m using to help understand the effectiveness; it’s really basic because that’s where we are right now. What I’m thinking behind that is that when Link wields that shield, it’s extra protection from those elemental attacks is active.
I’ll likely update this as the project continues.
Here are the three basic shields:
- Wooden Shield
Sort-of-effective protection. No extra protection from elemental attacks except Forest (+3). Burns from Fire and Electric. Can break. Cannot be stolen (any element).
- Metallic Shield
Decently effective protection. Some extra protection from Fire, Water, and Desert/Sand attacks (+2). Some protection against Forest attacks (+1). No protection from Electric. Cannot be broken. Can be stolen (any element). Combined with Special Wax, this shield may reflect light.
- Metallic Shield (+Special Wax)
Same effectiveness as Metallic Shield, plus some protection from Light and Shadow attacks (+1). Wax can melt off from Fire or Electric. Cannot be stolen from Light element monsters. May be stolen from Shadow element monsters. Can be stolen from any other element.
- Hylian Shield
Effective protection. Some extra protection from Light and Shadow attacks (+2). Some protection against Spirit and Desert/Sand attacks (+1). Can break from Forest, Water, Fire, and Ice monster attacks. Cannot be stolen from Light or Shadow element monsters. May be stolen from Spirit or Desert/Sand element monsters. Can be stolen from Forest, Water, and Fire element monsters.
The other two shields can’t be stolen, broken, or replaced. They’re also optional. They are stored in the same bag and in the same way as the other shields, so they will take up room away from a more possibly more appropriate shield. These will likely be dumbed down to give more of an incentive to use the replaceable shields.
- Hallowed Shield
Very effective protection. Protection from Spirit, Desert/Sand, and Ice attacks (+3). Some extra protection from Shadow and Forest attacks (+2). Some protection against Fire and Light attacks (+1).
- Eclipse Shield
Very effective protection. Great protection from Water, Ice, Light, and Shadow (+4). Protection from Spirit, Forest, and Fire (+3). Extra protection from Desert and Electric (+2). Extra protection from general magic (+2). Extra protection from minibosses (+2).
Both of the optional shields are obtained after the first half of the game. The Hallowed Shield, however, is only available in the Jove Mountains, and it is possible to miss getting it. That optional challenge might be timed. I’m hoping to have it so each of the temples can be revisited, and if that’s possible, then the Eclipse Shield will be obtained from a special challenge in the Earthen Forest.
Remember that the last temple is the Sun Temple. The incentive of the Eclipse Shield is that it’ll be of great use within that temple.
I’ve been watching too many drag queen shows.